I Was the ‘Boys Have a Penis’ Kid from the Classic 1990 Film: A Look Back.
The Austrian Oak is universally recognized as an Hollywood heavyweight. Yet, at the height of his blockbuster fame in the 1980s and 1990s, he also delivered several genuinely hilarious comedies. A prime example is Kindergarten Cop, which celebrates its three-and-a-half decade milestone this holiday season.
The Role and That Line
In the classic film, Schwarzenegger embodies a tough police officer who goes undercover as a schoolteacher to track down a criminal. For much of the movie, the investigation plot acts as a simple backdrop for Arnold to film humorous scenes with children. The most unforgettable features a student named Joseph, who out of nowhere announces and declares the actor, “It's boys who have a penis, and girls get a vagina.” Schwarzenegger responds dryly, “I appreciate the insight.”
The boy behind the line was brought to life by former young actor Miko Hughes. In addition to this part featured a recurring role on Full House as the bully to the famous sisters and the haunting part of the child who returns in the 1989 adaptation of Stephen King’s Pet Sematary. He continues to act today, with a slate of movies in development. He also engages with fans at the con circuit. He recently shared his experiences from the production 35 years later.
Memories from the Set
Q: To begin, how old were you when you filmed Kindergarten Cop?
Miko Hughes: I think I was four. I was the smallest of all the kids on set.
That's impressive, I don't recall being four. Do you retain any flashes from that time?
Yeah, somewhat. They're flashes. They're like mental photographs.
Do you recall how you got the part in Kindergarten Cop?
My family, especially my mother would take me to auditions. Often it was like a cattle call. There'd be dozens of children and we'd all simply wait around, be seen, be in there for a very short time, read a small part they wanted and that was it. My parents would feed me the lines and then, when I became literate, that was some of the first material I was reading.
Do you have any recollection of meeting Arnold? What was your feeling about him?
He was incredibly nice. He was fun. He was nice, which I suppose isn't too surprising. It would have been odd if he was a dick to all the kids in the classroom, that probably wouldn't make for a productive set. He was fun to be around.
“It would have been odd if he was unpleasant to all the kids in the classroom.”
I was aware he was a huge celebrity because that's what my parents told me, but I had never really seen his movies. I felt the importance — like, that's cool — but he didn't really intimidate me. He was just fun and I just wanted to play with him when he was available. He was occupied, of course, but he'd kind of play with us here and there, and we would hang off of his arms. He'd flex and we'd be hanging off. He was really, really generous. He bought every kid in the classroom a yellow cassette player, which at the time was a major status symbol. That was the coolest device, that distinctive classic yellow cassette player. I listened to the Power Rangers soundtrack and the Ninja Turtles soundtrack for a long time on that thing. It finally gave out. I also have a authentic coach's whistle. He had the coach whistle, and the kids all received one too as well.
Do you remember your experience as being enjoyable?
You know, it's interesting, that movie was this cultural thing. It was a major production, and it was an incredible opportunity, and you would think, in retrospect, I would want my memories to be of working with Arnold, the legendary director, the location shoot, the production design, but my memories are of being a selective diner at lunch. For example, they got everyone pizza, but I didn't even like pizza. All I would eat was the meat from the top. Then, the first-generation Game Boy was new. That was the hot thing, and I was pretty good at it. I was the smallest kid and some of the bigger kids would ask for my help to get past hard parts on games because I was able to, and I was really proud of that. So, it's all childhood recollections.
The Line
OK, the infamous quote, do you remember anything about it? Did you grasp the meaning?
At the time, I probably didn't know what the word taboo meant, but I knew it was provocative and it got a big laugh. I was aware it was kind of something I shouldn't normally say, but I was given approval in this case because it was comedic.
“She really wrestled with it.”
How it came about, according to family lore, was they hadn't finalized all the dialogue. Certain bits of dialogue were written into the script, but once they had the entire ensemble assembled, it wasn't necessarily improv, but they developed it during shooting and, I suppose it's either the director or producers came to my mom and said, "We have an idea. We want Miko to deliver this dialogue. Are you okay with this?" My mom didn't agree right away. She said, "Let me think about it, I need time" and took a day or two. She really wrestled with it. She said she wasn't sure, but she believed it could end up as one of the most memorable lines from the movie and history proved her correct.